How to Poop In College: Student’s Guide to Peaceful Pooping On Campus
You deserve to feel comfortable pooping!
That’s just it, I’ve said the elephant in the room…So let’s talk about it!
This post uses the word “poop” excessively. If you don’t feel comfortable reading it, you probably shouldn’t read further in this post.
If you’ve landed on this post, you must have searched “how to poop in college.”
Well, I’m so glad you’re here to learn about these 5 fantastic tips to peacefully poop on campus from someone who actually used them!
(In my two years spent living in a dorm, I managed to poop freely without anyone else in the bathroom about 98% of the time. So I’ve tested each of these out and I’m giving away my strategy to you in this post!)
Are you ready to say goodbye to stressful, anxious bathroom trips and hello to the wonderful world of peaceful pooping?
Continue reading to learn how to poop in college!
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As you can see from the opening, we’re getting super transparent about something that I don’t hear anyone talking about, pooping in college.
First off, why is no one talking about this? This is one of the biggest adjustments when going to college.
I have to share a room and now I have to use a communal bathroom!
In the words of Cher, “As if!”
But let’s face it, this is the reality of college living and we all went through it. Lucky for you, you have me (your college Big Sis) to give you all the secret gems for dealing with dorm bathrooms.
And at the end of the day, you have to remember it’s not a big deal.
We all poop and when you gotta go, YOU GOTTA GO!
This post is all about how to poop in college.
5 Tips for How to Poop In College
1. Find the Deserted Bathroom
This is the absolute best way to poop in peace in college!!
Here’s a little secret, on college campuses there are bathrooms that either no one uses or not a whole lot of people know about.
Your goal is to find these bathrooms! I call these the *deserted bathrooms.*
Cherish them! Love them! Because you will be spending a lot of time there over the course of your next 4-5 years!
They are typically located in academic buildings on floors that don’t get a lot of foot traffic (like upper-level floors or near faculty offices).
Many times only college faculty or staff use these restrooms, so there’s no one typically using them after the work day is over.
Also since they aren’t used that much, they are usually the nicest and most clean bathrooms!
To find these bathrooms, you’ll need to explore campus a little bit.
Start with the buildings that you go to most often. If there’s a floor you’ve never been on, go take a look and see what the restroom situation looks like.
If all checks out, CONGRATULATIONS, you’ve found your deserted bathroom! Feel free to make it your go-to place.
To maintain your stake over your new private bathroom, keep it your own little secret during your time on campus.
This is the strategy that I had the most success with!
2. Learn the Student Schedule
As you live in the dorm, you’ll start to notice there are periods when the halls are full (like early mornings) and when it’s empty (typical class times).
By learning the typical student schedule, you can plan the best times for you to poop.
If you want to poop peacefully, avoid busy times like:
- During a dorm event
- Before the first class
- After dinner before the bed rush
You’re essentially turning public restrooms into your own private bathroom!
Related: How to Make Dorm Beds More Comfortable (Tips From A Former Student)
To learn the student schedule the first thing you should do is pay attention to when your floor goes quiet. That means most of everyone is gone from the building.
Take note of these times.
Then try going to the bathroom a few times and see if anyone shows up.
If not, this is your time to shine!
If so, keep experimenting with the time to find the one where no one is there but you.
You may even have to set a time limit for yourself like 10 or 15 minutes before someone else shows up.
What I’ve found while living in the dorm is that most people use the bathroom around the same time.
Once you find your rhythm, it’s like when you have an unassigned, but assigned seat in class.
College students tend to stick to their schedules.
3. Learn Your Own Poop Schedule
On the same note as learning the student schedule, you should learn your own poop schedule also!
Do you tend to go right after a meal, drinking coffee, or exercising?
Take note of that!
Then you can plan around when and where you’ll be.
Based on where you are, find that deserted bathroom!
Once you have your own schedule down, you can plan accordingly when and where you can poop most comfortably!
4. Use a Gender Inclusive Restroom
Gender-inclusive restrooms are getting installed on more and more college campuses.
According to CampusPride.org, at least 367 colleges have included gender-inclusive restrooms on their campuses.
These bathrooms are a great option because they are usually private bathrooms with a lock!
You don’t have to worry about anyone else coming in at all.
To find these bathrooms, they should be labeled as gender-inclusive outside of the door.
You can also just ask the front desk or whoever is working in the building where they are located.
Since these are private bathrooms, they may not be available all the time because just like you, others want their privacy.
So make sure you have a backup plan just in case!
5. Distract Away from the Pooping
Speaking of backup plans, this one is if you’re thrown a curveball in your usual plans.
(Because let’s face it, our stomachs can be unforgiving sometimes)
Let’s set the scene. You might have eaten some orange chicken from the dining hall and now it’s just not sitting right on your stomach.
You look at the clock and it’s prime busy time after dinner, people are coming in and out of the bathroom, and you just don’t have time to make it to your favorite *deserted bathroom.*
You’re freaking out and don’t know what to do!
You must distract, distract, distract!
No, I’m not saying do something crazy! (please do not and I do not advise that!)
It can be something as simple as setting your phone on the counter and playing music!
That way no one is really hearing you poop (you know that sound of “plop“)
If no one hears it, it didn’t happen right!
Other ways you could distract:
- Turn on the shower (but pls don’t waste water)
- Have a movie or TV playing on your phone
- Flush at the exact same time
Trust me, no one will be worrying about why there’s music playing. Everyone is trying to go in, do their business, and get out.
And if you’re worried about the smell, first remember it’s college and the bathrooms aren’t going to smell great.
Second, you could buy some air freshener to take with you to cover up the smell
You should already have some when you brought your dorm cleaning supplies.
Related: 5 Best TV’s for College Students
Related: 23 Best Dorm Cleaning Supplies for College Students (Everything You Need)
What About a Shared Bathroom Between Roommates?
If your dorm room shares a bathroom with another room or set of rooms (like a suite-style), consider yourself lucky!
Since you’re sharing the bathroom with only a few of your fellow students, it’s much easier to handle than sharing with a whole dorm room floor!
The best way to navigate this situation is to have a candid talk with your roommates (bathroom mates?) about how things are gonna go down!
Ask questions like:
- What time do you generally get ready and need the bathroom?
- Who’s buying toilet paper when it’s empty? (if it’s not supplied by the dorm)
- If you gotta go, is there a codeword?
You could even have a sign on the door that lets others know what’s happening.
Is it throw-down time on the porcelain throne or are you just washing your face and getting ready for a night out?
It’s a good idea to talk with your bathroom mates to decide on the best way to share the bathroom that benefits everyone.
How to Get Over Pooping in College?
When you’re used to privacy with pooping, coming to college with communal bathrooms is a real shock!
It definitely takes some getting used to learning how to poop in college during those first couple of weeks of school.
The great thing about college is that everyone is experiencing new things, trying to make new friends, and adjusting to this new lifestyle!
Related: How to Be Popular in College (13 Real & Practical Tips)
You are not alone in these feelings!
You will find that college can be a pretty open environment.
Your dorm room floor may be co-ed. You may have people announce when they’re gonna poop and it’s no big deal.
You may even have someone who actually poops in the shower and leaves it for other people to find as a prank.
That is a true story that I saw with my own eyes, ewww!
As you experience life in the dorm you’ll find what works best for you in time!
Just give yourself the grace to learn these new things and embrace the journey.
Also, don’t forget to take advantage of your resources.
Whether that’s your roommate, a RA, or even talking to an older student who’s been through what you’re experiencing, reach out and ask them for advice!
Every time I talked to my RA when I was a freshman, I learned so much that I would’ve had to figure out on my own if I didn’t ask.
Wrapping Up
Learning how to poop in college is something that all college students must figure out how to do based on their needs and comfort with shared restrooms.
With these 5 tips for peace pooping, you are now equipped with the knowledge to go out there and live your best college life, constipation free!
Did this advice help you? Leave a comment below and let me know!
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